i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
