Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
