Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I party with great urgency now.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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