Hey man sorry I got all grabby
P.S. I can't hear my feet
there was a trapeze. enough said
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
