To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
