why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
