How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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