i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
