and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
