you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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