Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
