I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
