his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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