I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She said her name was "party"
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
