plz talk dirty to me
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
