I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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