break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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