I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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