I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
