i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
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