yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
