I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
