hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
