Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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