I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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