So drunk its hurt
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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