sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
