11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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