thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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