i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
