I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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