Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
