Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
