I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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