last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
