did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
