Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She's the barista slut.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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