he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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