the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
