We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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