i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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