Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I wish you could order shots online.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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