Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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