real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
