Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
