So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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