Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
birth control should be required to get into college
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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