Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
