i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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