The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
