Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize