brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
