We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Randomize
