This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
