Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Come see our sink grown plant.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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