yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize