Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
