I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
