Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Randomize