I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize