he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
