I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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