I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
