Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Randomize
