Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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