Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize