Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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