if you like me you must not know who I am
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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