and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
