I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
