I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
